The Mets Police

I know there's thousands of these looks back from the future, but I enjoy being sarcastic so I thought I'd throw some ideas out there.

January 2nd:  The Jets lose 6-3 to the Bengals and miss the playoffs.

January 3rd:  Tom Seaver and the Mets announce "Seaver's Wine Shop" as way to honor The Franchise.   Bloggers go ape.  In the press conference, Jeff Wilpon promises that every April 1 (4/1) all Mets will wear #41 in honor of The Franchise

January 22nd:  The Mets invite bloggers to come see the new Mets museum.  Bloggers are impressed by the fantastic job.

February 6th:  Jason Bay signs a 7 year contract with the Mets.  In an unoriginal joke Bay tells the press that he always wanted to be a Met.

February 14th:  Jimmie Johnson wins the Daytona 500.  Nobody north of DC notices.

March 2nd:  Jose Reyes leaves the Mets' first spring training game with some tightness.  Mets fans panic.

March 5th:  In a split squad game against Florida, Johan Santana leaves the game after 8 pitches with a "twinge."  Mets fans panic.

March 8th:  David Wright slips in the clubhouse following a water balloon fight with Jason Bay.   He is listed as day to day.  Mets fans panic.

March 21st:   In a game against the University of Michigan, Jason Bay is hit in the wrist by a pitch and is out until June.

March 24th:  Pedro Martinez signs a one year deal with the Mets.  Jose Reyes, David Wright and Johan Santana announce they are ready to play.

April 1st:  The Mets do not all wear 41 on 4/1 as previously announced.  Jeff Wilpon explains it had been an elaborate April Fool's joke.  "Gotcha" is the backpage headline the next day.


April 5th:  the Mets sell-out on a dreary cold Opening Day as the Mets win 1-0 on a Santana shutout.  Reyes leads off the game with a walk, two steals and scores on a sacrifice fly.   K-Rod pitches the 9th for his first save.

April 7th:  Pedro Martinez pitches 4 innings in a 5-3 loss in front of 11,284 at Citi Field.   Mets catcher Bengie Molina hits his first home run of the season.

April 8th:   Oliver Perez scatters 6 walks and becomes the first Met to throw a no-hitter in front of 10,177 on a frigid April night at Citi Field.

April 11th:  the Mets throwback uniforms make their debut, coupled with blue/black caps.  Bloggers go bananas.

April 13th:  It's 80 and sunny as the Yankees celebrate their home opener following a 90 minute pre-game concert by Jay-Z.  The Yankees win, the Yankees win.

April 14th:  Oliver Perez gives up 8 runs in 1/3 of an inning in Colorado

April 26th:  with the Dodgers in town, the Mets gather to retire Mike Piazza's #31.   During the ceremony, John Franco walks out on the field dressed in a suit and gets a big ovation.  A quick thinking Howie Rose ad-libs a speech and Franco also has his #31 retired although that was never the plan.   Behind the scenes Rose is thanked for avoiding a PR disaster.  39, 985 attend.

May 1st:  On ESPN, Bobby Valentine slips in a comment that the .500 Mets are underachieving.  Pedro Martinez pitches 4 innings against the Phillies in a 5-3 loss.

May 2nd:  David Wright hits his league leading 11th home run of the season.  Some speculate Seaver's Wine Shop has created a jetstream at Citi Field, but Accuweather.com says it's just an unusally humid spring.

May 8th:  David Howard joins Shannon Shark for a game.  They sit in the first row of some left field Promenade seats.   Howard has a hot dog, buys a round for everyone but seems to stand a lot, especially during crucial plays.  The next day Mets Police reports Howard seems like a good guy.

May 9th:  The Mets wear pink uniforms on Mother's Day.   Surprisingly they look better than the black.

May 21th:  Jose Reyes leads off the game against the Yankees with a walk, steals two bases and scores on a sacrifice fly.  Johan Santana defeats C.C. Sabathia 1-0.  The Mets are just two games in back of the Phillies in the standings.

May 22nd:  Pedro Martinez pitches four innings in a 5-3 loss to the Yankees.   The Mets fall to three back.

May 25th:  Mike Francesa announces he will have major Mets news tomorrow.  The next day he announces that SNY will be starting a new show called "Mets Complainers" which will air after the Mets postgame show on SNY. Steve Phillips, Adam Rubin and Shannon Shark are the rotating hosts.

June 4th:  the game against Florida is rained out, to be made up as part of a traditional twi-night doubleheader later in the season.

June 8th:  The Devils win the Stanley Cup.  Mets Complainers on SNY outdraws the hockey game on NBC in New York, largely thanks to a controversial double-switch in the 10-3 Mets victory.   The next day the Yankees are on the backpage with some off-day A-Rod news.  A small article underneath the car ads notes the Devils' achievement.

June 18th:  Oliver Perez takes a perfect game against the Yankees into the 9th.   Luis Castillo drops a pop-up with one out, and Perez walks the next 5 batters before Jerry Manuel brings in K-Rod for the save.  "Mets Complainers" outdraws Jay Leno in New York.

June 22nd:  Jason Bay makes his Mets debut with a two home run performance.  David Wright hits his league leading 30th home run of the season.  The Mets are one game in back of the Phillies.

July 5th:  On Ray "Knight night" the Mets and Reds get into a brawl.  Jason Bay is injured in the scuffle and lost for the season.   After several players are ejected, Jerry Manuel plays Pedro Martinez at first, Dan Murphy at third, and platoons the Japanese J.J. Putz and K-Rod between left field and the mound in the 11th inning.  Mets wibn.


July 10th:  On Old-Timer's Day, Mookie Wilson leads off with a walk, steals two bases and scores on a Wally Backman sacrifice fly.   In the other dugout the "heroes of the Subway Series" wear black and are managed by Charlie Samuels. David Howard expresses disappointment that the game did not sell-out and comes just short of saying "I told you so."

July 13th:  In Anaheim of Los Angeles, Jose Reyes, David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Luis Castillo, and Johan Santana start the All-Star Game.  Oliver Perez, 10 and 2 with an ERA over 6 is snubbed.  Charlie Manuel asks "how many damn Mets do you want on this team?"   Jose Reyes leads off the game for the NL, walks, steals two bases and scored on a sacrifice fly.

July 31st:  the Mets acquire Manny Ramirez from the Dodgers in exchange for catcher Josh Thole. Bengie Molina hits his 20th home run of the season as the Mets win.

August 1st:   "Mets Yearbook 2009" debuts on SNY.  The series jumps the shark as it tries to whitewash '09.

August 8th:  The Red Sox place David Ortiz on irrevocable waivers.  The media spends the next few days discussing what "irrevocable" means.  Ken Davidoff has explained it all on Newsday but it's behind the Iron Curtain so nobody sees it.  Two days later Jon Heyman tweets the answer to everyone.   Oritz is picked up by the Mets as Omar Minaya's dream of reuniting the 2004 Red Sox is nearly complete.

August 14th:  Giants fans attend an exhibition game at Chrysler Field at the Meadowlands and are shocked that plexiglass blocks their view of the field despite having paid $20,000 for a PSL.

August 23rd:  YES catches SNY host Shannon Shark at a Yankee game clapping for Jeter.   Michael Kay spends the next day's radio program calling everything about the Mets including SNY and Shark "a joke."  "Shark, is that even a real name," Kay asks.  Shark is suspended for two weeks from SNY for rooting for the Yankees.

August 26th:  Banner Night returns between games of a twi-night doubleheader against Florida in front of 38,199 fans.  The Mets are three back of Philly heading into the game.  Santana loses game one 2-1 after the Japanese J.J. Putz blows a 1-0 lead in the 8th.  Jose Reyes scores the only run on a walk, two steals and a sacrifice fly.   Pedro Martinez wins the nightcap by throwing 147 pitches in five innings.

August 30th:  Steve Phillips leaves SNY to become GM of the Florida Marlins.  Adam Rubin joins him as assistant GM.  "Mets Complainers" is cancelled, but Shannon Shark is named host of "Metsography."  The next day Michael Kay spends three hours on his radio show calling the Mets, SNY and Shark a joke.

September 1st:  After a poor performance, Mike Pelfrey is confronted by Keith Hernandez in the clubhouse.   Hernandez tells Pelfrey that if he throws one more fastball he will punch him in the face.   Pelfrey gets by on junk for the remainder of the season and goes 5-0.

September 12th:  with the Mets and Phillies tied in the standings, ESPN moves the game to 8:05pm.  A beautiful Indian Summer day ends abruptly when a cold front blows through New York at 6:27pm.   Pedro Martinez pitches 4 innings in a 5-3 loss.

September 13th:  NFL rules compel CBS to black out the Jets game in New York after the Jets don't sell out.   Local fans are provided with Browns-Raiders rather than Patriots-Colts and bloggers begin to smell a conspiracy.

September 24-26:  the red hot Mets sweep the Phillies to take a two game lead in the standings.  In the Sunday night game (moved to 8:05), Johan Santana wins his 20th game behind home runs by David Wright (his 44th), Bengie Molina (20th) and Manny Ramirez (first as a Met).  Carlos Beltran joins the 30/30 club but that stopped being a big deal 10 years ago.    A picture of A-Rod is on the back page of the Post the next morning.

September 27th:  up two games with a week to go, Pedro Martinez pitches four innings in a 5-3 loss to the Brewers.  The Phillies narrow the deficit to one game.

September 30th:  with the lead still only at one game, Johan Santana throws 137 pitches in a 1-0 shutout of the Brewers.  Jose Reyes scores the only run on a triple and a sac fly.

October 2nd:  the Jets open the season 4-0 as fans begin talking about a Super Bowl run.

October 3rd:  the Mets send Oliver Perez to the mound with the Phillies just one game back on the final day of the season.  Bad Ollie gives up 8 runs. The Mets sell out for the second time all season.  The Mets lose the coin toss and head to Philadelphia for the one game playoff.

October 4th:   On short rest, Johan Santana throws 7 strong shutout innings.  Jerry Manuel hands the 1-0 lead to the bullpen but the Japanese J.J. Putz promptly gives up a double to Jimmy Rollins and a home run to Chase Utley.  The game ends with Manny Ramirez looking at strike three.  The Phillies are the NL East champions for the fourth year in a row.

October 5th:  Omar Minaya and Jeff Wilpon discuss disappointing season in conversation with Mike Francesa

October 6th:  "Metsography: Lee Mazzilli" seems an odd choice for the first episode of this new SNY series. A week later "Metsography: Doug Flynn" has everyone under 30 scratching their heads.

November 3rd:  the Yankees win their 28th World Championship, defeating the Phillies 4 games to 2.   Joe Girardi changes uniform number to #29.  Jeff Wilpon pledges that Mets fans will have "meaningful games in October 2011."

November 9th:  Jose Reyes named NL Most Valuable Player.  Mets pick up option for 2011.

November 21st:  Jimmie Johnson wins the Sprint Cup championship again.  Nobody cares.

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